happy day #2...what an accomplishment!!!

WOW!! I mean WOW!!! Things are really looking up!!! I am making it!! 2nd Happy day in a ROW!!! Yay!!!! I knew that if I just hung in there, God would be able to help me out!! He is soooo AWESOME!!!  sigh of relief..... and that is all to say....

Happy time

No more sad entry for today-----it's happy time!
                   I love my Mommy!
                   I love my Daddy!
                   I love my sisters!
                   I love all of my family!!!!!
                   I love Rach!
                   I love all of my friends! 
                       (not even gonna start namin names...would be a LONG list!!)
                   I love Faulkner!
                   I love Camp Wetoga!
                   I love life!
                   I LOVE GOD!!!!!
 
And the youth rally is this weekend and this is the last week of my jobs and next week I get to see my friends and meet new people and I am blessed beyond imagination!!!! YAY!!!!
                  
AND!!!! Ashley is coming this weekend for the youth rally and I am so excited cause we are going to have fun and Cornerstone will be here so it will almost be like Seneca, but with half the sisters not there...but the 2 of us will be rockin anyway!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am exhausted....

I am exhausted: physically, from work and all of the stress; spiritually, from fighting to keep myself spiritually alive...from fighting to get up everytime satan finds a way to knock me back down over and over and over again with discouragement; emotionally drained....I just need a big boost and I think getting away and back to school with my friends will help, I mean...I need something!!! Cause I am TIRED of all of this....I want to have my happiness back..I still have my joy, don't get me wrong, but I am just not as happy as I usually am, and i miss it! 
           I will make it...I will....I am going to be ok, this is just a hard time, I will be fine soon, and I don't doubt that one bit, but it sure is hard right now...pray for me...

A Breath of Fresh Air...

       Well, you all can probably tell, things have been kinda rough for me the past couple of weeks. I've been really discouraged about many different things..confused...frustrated...and clueless as to how to handle these different situations.  Anyway, this week, the East Brainerd Youth Group (were I often attend) was at Camp Wetoga for their week of camp...well of course I wanted to go, but of course I had to work...BLAH!! Anyway... I was able to make it down to camp yesterday. I left after work at the library and drove as fast as I could into those Blue Ridge Mountains...I got there, and it was like....sigh.....camp....whata relief!!!  It was wonderful! I really needed some camp...now that is not to say that I didn't still have all that stuff on my mind..cause I did, and I still do....but, still...
      This morning I went to the Bible class, and we watched this video clip, and then we had time to sit, and think about things...meditate on God...spend time with Him... Our teacher told us to write down what we were thinking...and I think I am going to write it in here so that I can see it often and remember....

                          here I am, sitting in this mess hall that I have grown to love... so many memories of wonderful, powerful lessons I have heard in here...memories of all the fun I have had in here with so many different people over the years.
                          these memories are full of joy, encouragement, upliftment, pure fellowship, some hard times, but most of all,
                         memories---connections
                         times I have felt the closest to my Lord...
                         and all of this
                              This Hope
                              This Joy
                              This Peace
                              This LIFE
                        is because of Him!
                       I owe this life to Him!
His sacrifice gives me the opportunity to have that-and the opportunity to go to Heaven- where all of this joy will be multiplied by ETERNITY! and for that--I owe Him my life! ALL of it!
      and even in times like now, when things are so hard- He is in control, and I will follow Him!

Home again...home again....

        So I had myself a wonderful time in Montgomery!! I got to spend a lot of time with Jessie, Ashley, and the other Seneca girls (luv em!)...I also got to hang out with several other wonderful friends! I wish I could have seen more people and maybe seen some people more...but it was still WONDEFUL! I can not wait to get back to school! I really can not wait! I think I had forgotten just how much I missed it...it took being there to bring everything back fully...and now I don't think 3 weeks can go by fast enough!!
       I know that this is going to be a great year! Hopefully there will be some fun new adventures for Jenna...who knows what all is in store for me this year...*winkwink*
 
      One bad thing though...I got home today and found out that my mom had been in the hospital and my fam didn't tell me till I got home...they didn't want to me to get in a reck trying to get home or something...I wish that they had told me...but anyway...the Dr. thinks she has kidney stones. I feel so bad for my mommy!! I would love it if you all could keep her in your prayers!!

Well...here I am...

...in Montgomery..made it in one piece...people liked my haircut!...I now have a roommate...I am so excited because she is soooo awesome and I know this even though I d0n't even know her yet!! It is good to be here...
        ..the trip was kinda interesting...2 traffic jams...severe weather...me almost dying in that severe weather while stuck in a Cracker Barrel...rescued by Stevo's parent...what a relief!!! AND FINALLY MAKING IT TO MY DESTINATION!!! hahaha  All in all...it was a good trip and now I am happily hangin out with my friends! I love it here!! Yay!!!
  ...anyway...while in Albertville I had the oportunity to meet Michelle's awesome youth group! They are so great! They are going on a mission trip to Michigan and I want to go soooooo bad..but I have to work...blah...but hey- I will be going back to visit and hang out!! For sure!! Such awesome people...
     ...and now I am going to have to end this lovely blog entry to go to thee movies with my friends!! YAY!!! more later.....out
 

Headed to the M-town!!!

well, I get to go up to school this weekend and see everyone!! I am so very excited!!! yay!!! soon I will be going back to school for the year and to be honest--I have mixed feelings now...I am soooo ready to get back and be with all my friends...but I am kinda hesitant to leave home..with all that has been going on here...I am afraid to leave and then come back to a big disaster...that is something that I am going to have to let go of and not try to fix it myself...trust God...well, I guess I will just have to walk by faith and not by sight...

And now I really just don't know what to say...

...have you ever had so many things come at you all at once...from all directions...all so shocking, so startling, so frustrating, so confusing, and so...annoying....
...and you really just don't know what to think...what to say...
and it's not like they are all related to the same thing... it's like..stuff in every aspect of your life going crazy...
...well, I guess that's where I am right now...stuck in the land of not knowing how to handle this and how to deal with that and what's going to happen here and how you are going to end up there...
...kinda definitely bites...
but things will get better.... 2 Corinthians 4..I just need to read that...remind myself that God is in control, I am holding His hand, and He will lead me through all of this...
...one thing is for sure...I am holding
on to His hand very tightly...

This very well may have been the most emotional day of work ever in my life...

Ya'll...today was rough...don't get me wrong, I had some wonderful, fun, happy sessions today at the studio...but there was one that just broke my heart!! I really cried when the people left...this just humbled me and it really...well, it really did crush my heart for these people...let me tell you about it...

I had a break between some appointments, so I was doing things around the studio that needed to be done...when I heard someone clear there throat...I turned around and there was an elderly lady and her husband standing at the front of the store. I thought, sheesh, you didn't have to be rude... and then I walked over to them. The lady said that she and her husband wanted to get pictures taken, and she asked if I had time to do it for them...well, I had an hour before my next appointment so I could take them...she told me that she had a doctors appt. at 2:15, so we needed to get them done quickly...no problem...I took them to the camera room and began taking their pics...they were so cute!! Yesterday was the lady's 62th birthday so they were getting birthday pics taken...they told me that they usually get their pics taken every 5 years for their anniversary, and this Jan. would be their 45th Anniversay..but they wanted to get them done now because the lady had some health problems...that made me sad..and I wanted to make sure that they had some wonderful pictures! And they did! They were great!!! The people didn't have a coupon...and I felt bad for them, so I gave them a coupon for a GOOD discount!! They picked out sooo many pictures that the total came to over $600...blest their hearts...when I told them the price, I thought the lady was going to have a breakdown...I felt awful, I took her back to the sales table and we started to downsize her order...she told me, she said..."I wish I could get all these..I really do, but hunny, I just can't afford it right now...I'm about to have a cancer operation, and I just can't afford it" I gave her a hug and told her that it was going to be all right...when she left to go to her appointment..she had tears in her eyes...and I did too, as they walked away, I lost it..I know that I don't know these people, but it just hurts my so bad to think that I may have taken their last pictures together...the thought of that man, having to look at those very pictures sometime in the future, with her gone...and the pain that he will feel..because you can tell how much they love each other...and I wish that there was something that I could do for them...but there's not, and right now even I am crying just thinking about it...and I just am praying for them so hard...I just pray that that lady will be ok, and that she will beat the cancer that is hurting her so badly...and that she won't be taken away from her husband yet...

and I know that you might think it is silly that I let myself get so emotional over some people that I don't know...and maybe I am silly, but if you could have seen their faces...just how they...admired one another, if you could have looked into those eyes...they were so full of fear, and disappointment, and grief...but also full of so much love...if you could have seen how much they cared for one another...

and it may be that no one understands me on this one...but I suppose I just needed to write it all down...

Ok.....sooo...now...

I really do like my hair, I just got sad about the good, fun, long hair being gone....everyone likes my haircut...they say I look older..that's good....anyway.....it's not about what I look like...it's about the person I am...(and I am going to keep tellin myself that...)
yeah...it's been one of those days.... goodnight

Ummm....sooooo

Yeah...I, ummm, got my hair cut yesterday...I really liked it!! It looked really cute...but...when I woke up this morning...I really missed my hair...I want it back! I want it to grow fast and I really really really really hope it doesn't look completely horrible the entire time I AM growing it out...It is different...and that will be good for now I suppose...but I really want it to grow back to being...well...me!!!Anyway...this is probably just the "first morning after a hair cut, freak out cause you're like--DID I REALLY DO THAT!??!" kinda thing...oh well, it's just hair, maybe I will still have friends... ;), I'm just joking... Oh well, got to get ready for work...later

Fun in the Sun!!!

Well, today was a big family picnic at the Ocoee River...we had so much fun with the fam!! Me, Rach, and JD laid on some rocks in the middle of the river for a good 2 hours...*AHAHHHH!!!!Kill it!!!* *Get my shoe* *Don't throw it over the cliff!?!!* I saw one of my friends from high school there which was really fun!! Blake was one of my Pre-Cal buddies!! Bless the boy for real!! He helped me out a bunch!! hehe... good times, good times... Oh- and we saw 3 snakes while we were there...kinda crazy... this one kid threw this big rock at one and it knocked it off the rock it was one, and it started swimming towards us!!!! We thought we were bout done for!!! Anyway.....we had us a big day today! :)

So here's my question....

How does one person really make a difference?

You know, sometimes it gets a little discouraging when you see so many things that need to be fixed, so many people that are hurting and need help, and still there's so much that you (I) need to work on... I suppose the only way to tackle it all is to just do what you can...try to somehow effect everyone that you come in contact with...It doesn't have to be anything huge...really, I guess it can just be with a simple smile, a sincere "hey, how are you doing?" By being a friend...by listening to people, by being selfless...some of these things are easy to do, and others take work...that selfless thing especially! And hopefully others will be encouraged, and maybe they will even start doing that very same thing to everyone they come in contact with...and then the cycle would continue...and thinking about it that way, that one smile could indirectly touch every single person in the world...now that is an encouraging thought!! I like it!! :)

Awakened from my slumber...

ahh...this morning, at the bright and early time of 9:30 (ok, so it's not that early, but for me, who was planning on sleeping till noon, it was a bit early) I got a call on my cell phone that woke me up very abruptly..I didn't realize that my volume was THAT loud...I guess the fact that it was right by my head didn't help much... anyway... It wasn't anyone fun, it was Amy from work---love her...work not so much...--and she needed me to come in for her. Bummer. But hey, it's money...

So there are lots of things going on right now, and I'm good, handling it all well and all, but it still is kinda stressful. And at this point of time, there is no need for me to go into details, just know that there is a lot that needs prayers...so if anyone wants to pray for just all the stuff that is going on...I would appreciate it very much!!

I don't always understand how good can come from some of the stuff that happens, but my understanding is not essential, God has got it all under control, and all I have to do is trust Him, and that I do!!