from the pen of Susan Isaacs...

In my last post I said that I would come back and explain some of the thoughts that are on my heart after finishing this book by Susan Isaacs, Angry Conversations With God. However, I also warned you that I saw this as a very intimidating task, and honestly, I just haven't been able to wrap my mind around everything enough to put it in blog post form yet. I hope to write something for you soon, but I might not. I suppose sometimes my deepest thoughts aren't meant to be shared. Who knows. Regardless, I do want to leave you with something about this book, so I figure, why not let Mrs. Isaacs do the talking? Here is a small portion of her God story from chapter 16 of the book:

"If God wants to burn up everything useless in my life, amen to that. But I want to know whether or not this sorrow has an end. Do these longings in my heart for love and purpose mean anything? I say yes. Is my need for God just misplaced longing that has no place to be satisfied? I say no. The body thirsts because it needs water and water exists. The soul longs for purpose because it needs it, and because it exists. And I wouldn't long for God if he didn't exist. I am taking this personally because I am personal. And I don't think that an impersonal God could create humans to be personal. So I'm taking this personally from a personal God.

A sixteenth-century monk wrote a treatise called Dark Night of the Soul. When we first know God, he lavishes us with blessings and signs of his love, the way you do with your children when they're small. But God wants us to grow up. So he removes his blessings. The sense of his presence. And even signs of love. Because he wants us to trust when we can't see, to believe we're loved even if we can't feel it, to walk by faith and not by sight. And maybe he wants me to love him for himself, not for what I can get out of him.

Well, if that's where I am, then okay. I can be here. I'm in my own Dark Night of the Soul. And I'm just waiting for my sun to come up."

I don't really have much to add to that right now. I will say this, "maybe he wants me to love him for himself, not for what I can get out of him." Something to think about...