i wish....

I wish that I took the opportunity to read more.
Not just when I'm in the middle of an incredible series that I can't put down...
I wish I would initiate the reading more.
I bet I would find myself carrying books around all the time (and actually reading them) if I would just open them and take the time to take the plunge.

I wish that I took the time to write more.
Honestly, I believe I am supposed to.
My lack of follow-through here seems a lot like disobedience to me these days...
I wish that I would be brave enough to stop avoiding the blank page.
I wish that I would just jump in and let the words flow.
I need to.
I want to.
I should.
Will I?

I wish I didn't miss things.
You know, the things that you just let pass you by because you just aren't being present.
I want to be fully alive in every moment.
I want my eyes to be clear, my vision broad and sharp...
I want to breathe in deeply and feel the power and gentleness of the air that fuels my lungs...
I wish I didn't miss what's in front of me because I won't stop looking back.
I wish I didn't get so distracted.

So then, wake up!

Why bother with wishing... all of these things are as they are by my choosing.
Perhaps it is time I stop choosing so poorly.

I am feeling like it may be time to start writing here again...
And for some reason this makes me nervous.

If you see this, let me know, because I have no idea if anyone ever comes back to this little ole thing...

It's not going to be today.
But soon.
And maybe someone out there should hold me accountable to this....