Saturday, August 12, 2006

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road...

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life....

...Here I am. I find myself at another turning point. Today is the day that begins a new year...a first year... a last year.... And as I am waking up to this new morning, I feel somewhat unprepared to make the turn. It's not that I don't want some of the changes to come. I am so excited about this being my little sister's first year in college! The family is on their way as I type. In about two hours I will be moving in her stuff, helping her organize her closet, and running around like a spastic mother making sure she has everything she needs. As excited as I am, I am also feeling a bit anxious. I feel a little extra pressure on me... I want to be the best big sister ever. I want to help her have an amazing freshman year, especially because she had such a wonderful senior year... I don't want her to have regrets about leaving home. But I have to remember I am not God. I cannot be in control here. I cannot make sure everything goes perfectly, I cannot be the one always fixing things, and telling her what steps to take.... (I am so scared of being a mom one day) because I know I have a tendency to want to guide her through my experience, and her experience is going to be different. So here I am, completely excited, but so nervous I am going to stress myself out and ruin her life (slight exaggeration).

This is my last year of undergrad work... I graduate from Faulkner in May... 4 years here.... I remember when I was moving in that first day.. crazy. A little anxious about this graduating thing. People keep asking me all these annoying questions like, "what do you want to do with your life?" and "oh, maybe grad school? what do you want to study?" and "don't you think you should start figuring it all out??? you are done in May.." (naw, duh) Stop asking me questions PLEASE!! I ask myself 7500 times a day! When I know for sure, believe me, you will find out. And while I am on this subject of questions, there are many unanswered questions in my life--- here's how you can help--STOP ASKING ME ABOUT THEM!! If I need advice, I will ask. I am not afraid of asking and I talk too much anyways. (Can you sense the frustration?)

This year brings new classes, new friends, old friends, new adventures, new drama (I hate drama), old drama (I really hate the drama that is getting old here at the ole F(C)U... new opportunities, new disappointments, new successes, decisions, fun, stress.... and at the end of this year another turning point...

So basically this is me saying that life is moving and I am just wanting to put it on pause for just a little while. I'm sure most of you can relate to that feeling.

Well, I'm going to go make this a good day. :) adios

3 comments:

Hans Lysglimt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jason said...

So, what are you going to do with your life?

Just kidding...

I hope you guys are having fun and getting excited about the upcoming school year.

sunny said...

Your last year! I know that you will make the most out of it. It will be really neat having your sister there on campus with you. You two will have so much fun together. Soak it up and enjoy your last year!

And about that mother thing... You will be an incredible mother! (I must confess - its hard to let go, but in the end, they belong to God - it's an amazing gift from Him)!