to inspire...

... means "to fill with an animating, a quickening, or exalting influence".

Yesterday I spent a little time (and by little, I mean merely an hour... ha) exploring various blogs. The list of those that I follow grew in leaps and bounds. I have accepted the fact that I AM that blogging girl now. But you know what-- there are a lot of us out there, and based on what I see on their blogs (since remember, I don't actually know a lot of them), they are pretty awesome people, so I am not going to feel creepy for this. 

As I wandered through the posts and pages, I came across this blog. Again, I don't know this woman, but her short post titled "Who Inspires You?" really, well, inspired me. Even the simple definition of "inspire" sparks something within me. (Again with the epiphanies, Jenna...) GOD moves and inspires me in so many ways through so many people. In the ways these people & I interact, in conversations, in things they write... HE leaves impressions upon me with these individuals. HE not only works through various persons, but also in so many of the smallest events or things around me. As I thought about all the simple things that absolutely delight me in a day, I recognized how GOD is in pursuit of me. 

I've thought about the different ways GOD seems to flirt with me at times. (I really enjoy seeing it as HIM flirting with me, fighting for my attention..) But for some reason, it resonated differently yesterday. I was filled with an animated, a quickened awareness of HIS presence and pursuit. 

Praise the God who can constantly delight us with the traces of Himself that He leaves scattered throughout our lives!

stir it up...

Lately, I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’ve been feeling really restless; I’m itching for springtime, a road trip, even to run (!!). The weather’s inconsistencies don’t help, teasing us with spring, then freezing us! It is like my entire being is aching to break free.

It’s like I’ve been still for too long; I’ve been sleeping or something, and I am ready to be awakened! Do you ever feel like this?

I used to go to camp every summer. It was absolutely my favorite thing in the world, and having to sit through church the Sunday morning before we would take the drive through the woods and then get me settled in my cabin was torture! I would try my best to pay attention and be still, but I felt like my head would explode if I didn’t move around and release the building pressure from within! I was just THAT excited. The anticipation for what was to come was just too much to bear for this 8 year old! (Confession: I was still feeling this way at 18.) 

As I sit here and compare these restless feelings I am currently experiencing and that antsy feeling from the old days before camp, I have a bit of an epiphany. And yes, I realize I have those often. 

Maybe this stirring within me points to what is to come...

 Sure, we keep hearing about how times are hard, but maybe God is getting ready to move in some incredible ways through these hard times in our country. Maybe He is preparing me for something that is to come in my personal life. Maybe it is something that is to come in this youth group that I am pouring my life into. There are some awesome things coming up for MYM: Winterfest, Spring Break Mystery Trip, Girls Retreat, and the summer with its new interns, and trips -- I mean, I am so pumped about the City of Children. 

God is moving. He is stirring. 

And I am craving Him with passion, ready to see His mighty works.

a little interview...

... by my sbf,Katie! I saw the post where she was interviewed and decided that I would join in on the fun (even though I usually these things... I still haven't written a facebook note on 25 random things about me. I may be the only individual on facebook that has not..). Below are the questions she sent me and my answers. Enjoy!

1.  What is your biggest goal for 2009?

My biggest goal for 2009 can pretty much be summed up by one word:surrender. At the end of '08, I was very convicted about the things I had been pursing. When I moved to Huntsville to work at Mayfair, I put a lot of pressure on myself in my ministry. Because of this, I started pursuing my "ministry" WAY more than I was pursuing GOD. I was really feeling the effects of this by the end of the year. I also found myself pursing relationships with other people over HIM. My goal for this year is to surrender all of these things, and everything else, to HIM, and pursue HIM above all else. 

Let me just say, this is not easy.

 

2.  What would you call your perfect Saturday afternoon?

Hmm... my perfect Saturday afternoon... I have trouble with these type questions, because I can dream up all kinds of wonderful scenarios, and I have no idea which of these delightful ideas I might call "perfect." Even though this may make me sound like a silly little dreamer of a girl, I think the perfect Saturday won't be composed of a series of perfect events, but it will include a certain special individual... this individual will be my love... and I don't know who this man will be, but I look forward to some lovely, lazy (or adventurous) Saturdays with him.

 

3.  If I were to come visit your hometown, where would you take me and why?

 

Oh my hometown of Cleveland, Tennessee. I'm not going to lie, there's not much happening in Cleveland. (Katie, it is NO WHERE NEAR as cool as Greenville.) However, there are still some special places I would take you. 1)My home - my favorite place in Cleveland. We would hang out with the fam.. sit in the dining room chatting with Mom, go out into the field to look for golfballs with Dad and the dog, and chill with the sisters in the basement. & 2) Tinsley Park. The courts I played high school tennis on are there, as well as an AMAZING playground w/ walking trails. I like spending time there; I don't do it nearly enough...

4. What is your most embarrassing moment?

 

When this question comes up, I have my one go-to answer. But honestly, I don't think it is my life's MOST embarrassing moment. But I can never seem to think of these moments when the questions are asked... maybe I've blocked them from my memory for some reason... Since I can't think of a really good one, I will use my go-to answer. It was the 4th grade. Gym class. We were doing volleyball drills... practicing our serves or something, and the boy I had SUCH a crush on was in my group. (So of course I was really excited about this fact.) Short version of the story - there was a HUGE hole in the back of my pants & somehow I hadn't noticed. Couldn't get in touch with Mom to bring me new pants, so I walked around with my principal's sweatshirt wrapped around my waste. It was a Wednesday, so I had church that night. Because I was SO cool (ha) I decided to wear this navy sweatshirt with bold golden yellow letters to church. With bold golden yellow leggings. What did the sweatshirt say?

Cause I'm the Principal - That's Why.

(ha!!!) That part of the story may be the most embarrassing thing..

5. If you were a cookie, what kind would you be and why?

Oh dear, another one of these type questions. If I were a cookie... hmm... Because I have been on an extreme diet for this stupid weight loss contest (can you tell I am tired of this ban on sweets?), I have a very strong craving right now... And I don't know if I would be this cookie and why or why not.. but right now I really want a big, thick, warm & gooey, chocolate chip cookie. And some milk. And I want it to be really big... like.. never-ending. So there you go. This question was torture.

If you would like to play along here are the directions:

1. Leave me a comment & your e-mail address saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (You get to choose the questions.) The first five 'askers' get the interview (if I even have that many out there reading)!

cravin' a roadtrip...

For real...

What I would give for

 just a carload of friends

 & the open road...

I want blue skies. 

I want flip flops. 

I long to be free from all responsibilities... 

(I mean, just for a week or something.) 

I want unknown destinations

& hole-in-the-wall eateries.

I want the beach...

And the mountains...

I want the West Coast...

And Maine...

And I want to stop at home...

sigh...

Instead, I suppose I will get back to work and keep my eyes open for some open space on my Google calendar.

(Can you tell that I am suffering from some insane spring fever?)

i need your imput...

I want a better title for my blog. 

This one is too long and just not all that catchy. 

Help! 

Do any of you few wonderful, faithful readers 

have any suggestions for me?! 

fun times with numbers...

I was never a huge fan of math.

I made my 1st B in the 5th grade. Honors math was not my friend that year.

(Thank you to Michelle King for helping me. By help, she sometimes let me copy her homework answers. I know. That is cheating. I have always felt bad for it. I felt worse that it didn't help any. I still got a B.)

I despised the complicated theories that mathematics always seemed to bring with it; however, I loved numbers. 

I know. 

This is strange. 

I think it has something to do with the somewhat obsessive compulsive aspect of my personality. I like patterns. I like order. I like when things fit together. I like for things to balance. Sure, I am just now really getting the hang of a budget, and I've not fully mastered the art of balancing my checkbook, but I am making progress. 

When I was in elementary school and I had math homework that I did not feel like doing, I would sometimes pretend that I was a business woman at work in my office. I would sit at my desk with a lamp pointed at my homework or "accounting papers" and think/talk to myself in a British accent, pausing pensively for dramatic effect. Yes. I was alone in my room. 

This afternoon I:

- checked the status of my financial loan, figuring out how much of my last payment went towards the principle & how much towards interest. I was giddy when I realized what a chunk of principle I paid off.

- while trying to figure out the prospective expensive for my upcoming Girls Retreat, I was, with much delight, adding numbers and dividing them and doing all that wonderful simple math. The best part was catching an error on the hotel's part that would have cost us almost $2,000. 

- I also checked my bank account online to see what checks had cleared and how much money I actually had in my account. 

It was then that I realized -- as an adult (cough cough), I am living the dream... 

It is no longer pretend. 

It's real life. 

But maybe, at times, I still use a British accent.

this was no protein bar...

Dear Denny's,

Thank you for the invitation to dine with you today! You added much excitement to my day. It was nice of you to hand out rain-check coupons for those of us that did not have time to wait around. Even though I didn't take one, my friends and I were up for the wait, I still appreciate the gesture. The pancakes were really good, and I didn't even run out of syrup! I was surprised that I cleaned my plate-- I even enjoyed the sausage. (I'm sorry that I was kinda scared of it at first. You proved me wrong.) 

I may get in trouble for hanging out with you today, (nothing against you, you've just got a lot more calories than my Special K meal bar) , but I am willing to suffer the consequences. I've probably got a date with a certain treadmill later this evening.... misery, but today, and only today, you were worth it! 

Thanks again! Next time you host such a big event, let me know! I'll be there!

Sincerely,

Jenna 

(as well as Cody, Brock, & Autumn)

feeling a bit nostalgic...

so... 

I looked through old pictures

found these

they made me smile

& so I decided to share them

sweet memories...

simply adorable...

This is precious.

I want it to be spring.

I want to be 5.

I wish I could do a cartwheel.

a distracted moment...

I am daydreaming a bit this morning...

(Don't worry; I don't plan on wasting too much time in my fantasy world. I've got much work to do. But for now, for this moment, I plan to dream a little...)

If I had more time in my day, I would read more.

And if I lived in this particular daydream, I would find myself in the cozy front room of my lovely little home. I would be curled up in the most perfect reading chair by the fireplace. There would be such big windows in this room that I wouldn't need to have the lights on, even on this cold and cloudy day. Maybe I would be sipping on a morning cup of coffee (even thought I don't particularly care for coffee). Better yet, make that tea. (I don't like tea much either, but it seems more appropriate for this daydream)...

And if I had more time in my day, I would write more.

My journals would be filled with the most beautiful and profound thoughts. And, since this is my daydream, a pen such as this (above) would be found in my hand, elegantly dancing on the page as my thoughts are poured out in ink... 

And in my spare time, I would take these thoughts and publish them.

Because in this daydream, all of my thoughts would fit perfectly together and make a most incredible piece of literature. I would sit and type for hours, until the last page was pulled from the typewriter, (I must be daydreaming in another era, because yes, it is a typewriter I am using, not my macbook.) and my complete masterpiece was in hand...

Well, I suppose that is enough distraction for this morning. Time to get to work. 

Perhaps I will find some time to read today....

Motivation from within...

So for the past month or so, I have been working towards being an all-around healthier me. My roomie has been providing some incredible accountability. I have been exercising pretty consistently, and I've become a big fan of Special K (along with other forms of healthy eating). I can tell a huge difference, even down to my fingernails. Either they grow faster when I am healthier, or my newly found discipline has also kept me from picking/biting them. (I know, I am so gross. But come on, I'm not the only one!) All around, I am making progress.

But here's the thing... I've come a long way, but I'm not there yet.

So far, accountability from my "trainer" has been the biggest thing keeping me on track (and the hopes of winning a little competition I am in). But you know what, that isn't good enough. I have got to find the motivation to do this from somewhere within me. For me. Or else, what good is any of this going to do? Eventually I will fall into old habits, because let's face it, in the end I will do whatever I want to do. 

So this is where I find myself right now. Looking for my inner motivation. Trying to develop a strength of self within me that will get me out of bed for my morning exercise routine even if roomie isn't going at it with me. Motivation to deny my appetite because I am not really hungry, just bored or something. 

I think this really important for me to do.... Not because I need to look any different, but because I need to be different. It isn't just about the physical me, but for spiritual me. For emotional me. For me in my relationships. For all that I am. I think all these parts of me are connected, and as I grow in strength and discipline in one area, I think the other parts will be strengthened too. 

So these are my thoughts. This is where I am right now. And now I'd better go to sleep so I can wake up early in the morning! (Because really, I should take to time to exercise AND have some quiet time.)

two thousand nine thus far..

(pictured: Alisha, me, & Anna playing in the snow of Colorado!)

So far, I have not been disappointed by the year 2009. There has been much to do, many people to see, and several places to go. (This is why there has not been much blog updating from me...)

 Just a few days after the new year, I, along with my fellow MYM youth ministers, headed to Colorado Springs, Colorado for the National Conference for Youth Ministers (NCYM). It was an incredible week filled with challenging speakers (Tony Campolo,  Mike Yankoski, Patrick Mead, & Chris Seidman, to name a few...), much needed time with old friends, encouraging interactions with new friends, and even a day of skiing... well, an hour or so of skiing, some time in a ski lodge, and fun times playing in the snow (see above picture & my facebook album). I left NCYM feeling refreshed, renewed, and ready with a new perspective for the upcoming year.

Once we returned from NCYM, I had a week in the office to get a checklist full of things completed before heading out the next weekend for Panama City, Florida. That's right, from the snowy slopes of Colorado to the sandy shores of PCB for another dose of heavenly goodness. Gulf Coast Getaway (GCG).

(pictured: BC, her awesome Harding suitemates, me & my roomie after the long trip home)

I honestly cannot adequately describe what this weekend meant to me... there is just too much that touched me too deeply for any words to do justice. Here is my attempt to express some of what I experienced.

 The Spirit. Surrender. Worship. New spiritual community. Restored community. Reconciliation. Ezekiel 37. Paul Evans. Making disciples. Randy Harris. Encouragement. Prayer. Peace. Longing. Cold sand. Story sharing. Evidence of God's grace. Evidence of God's goodness. Evidence of God's power. Submission. Offering. Praise. Hosanna. Awakening.

And like I said, that doesn't even really describe it... As for now, there are still events to plan, places to go, people to interact with, and exciting moments to come. HE is at work. I see HIM moving around me... in me. As I continue to surrender, I know that greater things are still to come.

as I spend time reflecting with HIM...

... I came across this poem of sorts that I wrote in February. As I sit in my tent (explanation later) and reflect on this past year with my Abba God, I see so much that He has done. I see so many answered prayers. I see myself still praying some of the same prayers... I love taking time to look back with Him. 

Now, I don't claim to be really good at poetry by any means, but I like what my heart is imagining and longing for here. Maybe someone else has thought about this before - or maybe someone will be delighted to think about it now. So I will share.

(There are actually two poems. I am going to post the second one on my & Annie's blog.) 

Won't you dine with me today?

Will you sit in the chair beside me; 

Share Your presence with me. 

Please stay.

Let me listen to Your song

As we watch the red birds dance.

Sing your sweet, soft melody.

Maybe I could join You?

Me and my timid harmony?

You stop and laugh and say,

"Daughter, I know you can sing lauder than that."

And as my spirit soars with love,

I see Your radiant eyes laughing and dancing,

Inviting me deeper into You.

We would sing loudly,

Voices rising high into the sky.

A glorious chorus,

Just the two of us.

Oh, if that were the case...

Can You really invite me in one day?

To sing with You?

a beautiful Christmas tradition

On Christmas Eve...

 we gather around the tree,

the five of us,

and Momma reads this book.

She cries.

(the past couple of years, I've cried)

It is beautiful.

A family tradition that I will always cherish.

And one day...

I will carry it on.

...to leap

As much as I hate the feelings I get in the pit of my stomach

 when I look at this picture, I also know it is what I am told to do.

 And I want to do it. Even though it scares me to death.

Leap into HIS arms.

Recklessly.

for about 15 minutes... i was a scribe

Yesterday, I got to be a scribe.

For about 15 minutes or so...

The Bible Across America RV came to Huntsville yesterday and camped out at Mayfair. It was really cool to be a part this. The verse I wrote was 2 Samuel 17:15. It says:

"Hushai told Zadok and Abiathar, the priests, "Ahithophel has advised Absalom 

and the elders of Israel to do such and such, but I have advised them to do so and so."

Random verse, yes. But I think it is funny that is says "such and such" and "so and so." And now I am intrigued. I plan on exploring 2 Samuel a little more. I don't think I know very much about what's going on here. Who knows, maybe I will discover something really cool here.

(Sidenote: Do any of you have any favorite stories from 2 Samuel?)

Here's a little info about the Bible Across America. 

You can check out the website for more details.

Be a Part of Hand-Writing an NIV Bible One Word, One Verse, One City at a Time To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible, the best-selling translation with more than 300 million copies in print, Zondervan has launched Bible Across America, a cross-country RV tour. Bible Across America features an RV, piloted by a four-person team, that is traveling across the continental United States, making stops at churches, universities, retail stores and special events where people are invited to contribute a verse to complete a handwritten Bible – America's NIV.

fictional realities

Okay, go to the blog that Annie & I write together, and read this latest post. I have been thinking a lot about this obsession we, in our culture, seem to have with fictional reality. I find myself often escaping into the lives of other people in television or (these days mostly) blog-reading. (I know. I am a dork. It's okay.)

I am really want to be involved in some dialogue about this. 

Let's talk. Okay. Go

home & the holidays

(I can sit and stare at this tree for hours...)

I have been excited about Christmas since, well, October. I am usually annoyed when I see the Christmas displays popping up in stores before the leaves even change colors, but this year was different. I found myself lingering in the ornament isles of Hobby Lobby for no apparent reason. There were several evenings when I would end up at Target, wandering through the store until it closed. I got lost in the scent of evergreen and apple candles, analyzing Christmas tree light colors, and assessing the various styles of Christmas decor. 

The funny thing is, I don't think it was the things themselves that had me so captivated. It was the feelings and the memories and the daydreams that surfaced when I was surrounded by those things. I've become quite the dreamer. Well, maybe I've always been a bit of a dreamer; perhaps I am only allowing myself more time on the playground of my imagination. 

Maybe that is part of the magic of Christmastime...

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back 

to the delusions of our childish days; 

that can recall to the old man 

the pleasures of his youth;

that can transport the sailor and the traveller,

thousands of miles away, 

back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!  

~Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, 1836

Speaking of home... I loved being home for Thanksgiving. The older I get, the more I appreciate my family. For those of you that don't know my family, I am so blessed. I pray that one day I find myself being the wife and mom in a family much like the one I come from. My parents are such beautiful role models for me and my sisters. And I love watching the relationships between my sisters and I grow... seeing how these relationships have strengthened over the years, even through the rough patches. 

The more I learn about this broken world around me, the more thankful I am for the incredible gift of family that I have been given. Thank you, God, for the protection You've given us. I would rather have this than any treasure in this world. And I love knowing that even when our time on this world is over, we will still end up at home together... and that will be our true home. 

There's really no place like home for the holidays...

a place I want to visit...

I have this thing where I love going in old churches.

(The Catholic ones are always the best.)

I love sitting quietly in the chapel areas...

I love the building's smell..

the way it feels to be in there...

the quiet...

the echo....

the windows...

it all feels so sacred...

so reverent...

a few of my friends and I always seem

to end up exploring these old type churches 

when we are visiting

other places

I have many very special memories

from some of these adventures.

(I view them as a sort of spiritual pilgrimage.)

so when I saw these pictures, 

I immediately wanted to seek out 

all of the hidden jewels of church buildings 

in Huntsville.

if you know of any, let me know-

maybe you will want to explore with me

(pictures taken by my friend, Kyle)

my favorite food...

May it be known.

I have a favorite food.

And it is Bang Bang Shrimp 

at Bonefish Grill.

I love it.

The end.

Other things I'm dreaming of...

Oh yes... the perfect house....

No, I am not really in a place where I can buy a house right now, but a girl can dream!!

 I inspected this house last year (in my days as a home inspecting assistant), 

and I fell in love with it.

In the country..... lots of land, autumn tress.... cute white house... 

Oh! - and inside the house! The interior was amazing!! Beautiful wood floors, a huge kitchen with lots of windows... The way the house was decorated was inspiring, and I left with my spirits lifted from just being inside. 

   The daydreamer within was quite active. Such a lovely house....

There are a few houses on my drive to and from work that I really like. If they were for sale, I would 

1) hope that I could afford it, 

2) hope that the inside would not be surprisingly horrible, and 

3) have no clue what the next step to take would be. Haha.

I have a lot to learn.

For now, I will continue to enjoy the home I have made for myself in my lovely apartment,

continue to find ways to pay off my student loan debt faster, 

and then begin saving up money for the whole home buying thing.

All in good time....

Sidenote: I am really enjoying my life right now, so really-- no rush. :)

this is making my heart smile and my mind wander...

And this.

This too. 

Why is my heart smiling? See blog entry at http://jennaandannie.blogspot.com

long time gone

So... I haven't updated this blog in over a year. Yes, I am aware of that. I had a myspace blog for a while. I've since deleted that myspace account. I currently have another blog with a dear friend, Annie. I enjoy sharing thoughts with her. 

I want to have a super cute blog. 

Whether or not that happens.... we shall see. 

For now. 

Know I am going to try.

Probably.

Even though no one looks at this anymore. :) haha

An update for you....

haha, not that anyone really reads this blog. :) But now that I am a gmail-er, I figure I should update my blog. I love gmail. haha

In a few hours I leave for a week-long mission trip to Belize.
I graduated from Faulkner University on May 5 with a Bachelor of Arts in English with a second major in Vocational Christian Ministry, Summa Cum Laude.... pretty exciting stuff.
I am currently not employed, but looking for a job.
Laurel and I have an apartment together. That's fun.
Let's see... what else...
I may be interning at Shakespeare Festival in the marketing department...
hmm....
I can't really think of anything else to add right now..

All I know is that I don't know what is next. :)
Like the Taylor Swift song says,
"I don't know what I want. So don't ask me. Cause I'm still trying to figure it out. Don't know what's down this road, but I'm walking..."

All I know is that I trust God and I know He has it under control. And I mean it. I am actually NOT worried. haha. Who would have thought that God really does follow through with that "peace that passes all understanding" thing?!?! :)

Well, I am off to bed. I have to get up in just 2 1/2 hours!